I Struggle with Mental Illness, How About You?
We often tend to laugh it off or just totally not talk about
it in general. But as a disciple of Christ, it is a topic that we often
overlook and really need to have discussion about. So, I will address another
elephant in the room- Mental Illness. In our culture we have more people than
ever who struggle at some point with mental health. As Christians we tend to
avoid talking about the topic. I really don’t know why? Maybe we feel mental
illness is a sign of weakness, or that at some point we can just “snap” out of
it. Some people think therapy is only for the crazy or that mental illness isn’t
a real illness at all. Some people even think people with mental illness are
dangerous. So why don’t we have open discussions about this topic in our
Christian circles? Maybe it is too complicated, maybe it is the devil, or maybe
the reality is, we all at some level suffer from some sort of mental health
illness, and we are too proud to admit it. I do not know about you, but I
struggle with mental illness and have for many years. If we were all honest
with ourselves, we would all realize we all struggle with some sort of mental
illness, to some degree. I tell my Psychology students on day one- of my introduction
to Psychology class, that if you believe you do not struggle with or have some
level of mental illness, you are fooling yourself. Over the years I
have struggled with anxiety, anger, and depression. Although I have been able
to implement strategies in my life to hep me deal with these mental health
issues, for his blog I am going to focus on my struggle with depression. I do
not know about you, but this is one areas that I struggle with, and at times, it
can get the best of me.
It seems when we want to discuss emotional/psychological
disorders we always want to jump to the “demonic spirit” in an individual.
There are too many people out there in the churches quick to point the finger
at the devil and dismiss the chemical make-up of our bodies. However, that is
so far from the truth, we have in our Christian churches and circles distorted
the truth about mental illness, where it is now a taboo to even talk about.
Well, I am going to start talking about it. Why? Because I believe there are
too many people in our churches today that are trapped in the "mental
health crisis" and they think the problem is all their fault. While I do
have the control on how I respond to my depression, too often, I would blame
other people for why I feel so discouraged and depressed. But the reality is,
what I was struggling with was a chemical component to my body system. Some
would call this a chemical imbalance. However, I found myself many times
fighting myself when this is a part of who I am and my DNA makeup. I would be
reactive, trying to fix me and make this imperfection go away. However, it wasn’t
until I realized, I couldn’t make it go away, I really needed to give it to
God. Does giving it to God excuse me, or free pass to stay depressed? No. I
struggle with being depressed at times to the point where I do not even want to
get out of bed in the mornings. I do not have answers for how to “heal” me from
this struggle However, I had to reset my thinking, I begin each of my days by
trusting the day over to the Lord and allowing Him to use me for His purposes.
I regularly read the scriptures, many times the Psalms. But there are time the feelings
I have inside me sometimes overwhelm me, to where I, at times, feel alone.
Maybe you have experienced this at times in your life’s journey too. What did
that feel like for you? If we are honest, it can feel overburdensome, as if the
weight of the world is at times on our shoulders and there feels like we have
no escape.
I am constantly asking myself, when I am in these really
depressed cycles, Am I to blame? Is there something I did wrong? Or is it the
chemical makeup of my brain and the nurturing of my past, that plays a role in
my daily life? Am I really a weak person because I struggle with
depression? Where does one go for help to work through these types of
struggles, like depression? For starters, do not go to the person who wants to
cast out the “depression demon” from you. We give the devil way too much ground
and credit for things that are not even his. Seeking help in the mental health
field is a good start. For some, this is a big step. For me, it was a matter of
allowing myself to submit my pride to Christ. It was a point in my life where I
realized I needed to seek professional help. Depression was just the coating,
as I began to work through some of my struggles, it was evident I was just
hitting the tip of the iceberg when I discussed my depression. In fact, there
were times when I just gave up, and stopped going for therapy. In the end,
things got much worse, and I never did get to begin working through the bigger
issues in my life. If you decide to seek professional counseling, I recommend
seeing someone who is both clinically trained and disciple of Christ
themselves. Especially, if you are wanting to continue to grow as a
disciple of Christ and remain faithful and obedient to His truths. What we do
not want is someone from the secular side to tell us that what scripture says
is irrelevant, ignorant, or no longer valid today. Or for them to tells us that
we should try things that counter God’s word. For me, I talk to someone, a
Christian therapist, who has helped me to see the triggers in my life that
contribute to my depression and other emotional challenges. In fact, I
regularly talk to about three other people, who I have strategically put into
my life, to help me with these struggles. I have given these individuals
permission to speak into my life and help walk this journey of faith and life,
so In all I do, I am giving glory to God. Am I successful? Not always. In fact,
I fail often. I do not want to sound too much like a humanist, but as disciples
of Christ, we need to consider that we are human, living in non-glorified
bodies, still under the curse of Adam’s sin, and the sinful nature of man.
Although we have been regenerated and are working on sanctification with
Christ, we are prone to the DNA of the fall. While that doesn’t give us an
excuse, we do need to realize that we are going to have challenging days where
we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. Maybe that sounds familiar to
what you have experienced. What do you do in time like that?
I often think about David, and how he must have felt knowing
King Saul, who was once a friend, was now out to kill him. As we read the
Psalms, we can clearly see that David struggled with depression, in fact, I
would go a step further to say it seems to be clear that David, if he lived
today, could be diagnosed with being clinically depressed. I also
think of the disciples on the road to Emmaus Luke 24:13-35. Now we do know the
identification of one of the men mentioned in the text, it is apparent that
these disciples were not one of the eleven. Nevertheless, they knew Christ
personally. How depressed they must have felt. Their friend, the one they had
spent the last three years with, the one who walked, talked, and ate with them,
was ow dead and gone. This king, Messiah who was to usher in the earthly
kingdom of God. With Christ being crucified, they were probably struggling with
doubt, at this point, as to whether He was the Messiah who would come and
reign. Now what do they do? They had this faith, this vision, that has now
collapsed before them. There is no certainty now about the future. How
depressing that must make someone feel. There have been times in my life where
I have experienced similar things in these two stories. How has your experience
encouraged you to keep walking with the Lord?
The good news is Christ came to give me life, a new life in
Him. While that does not take the depression away from me, it does give me hope
that Christ is with me through my valley moments. He is walking with me through
my valleys like He did with David. He walks down our road of hopelessness, like
he did with the disciples on the road to Emmaus. He is there to hold me and
carry me, if needed, so that I can continue my journey as a disciple of Christ.
While I have not yet arrived, nor will I, until we are face to face with
Christ, I can rest assured that Christ will walk each step of my life alongside
me, one step at a time. Sometimes when I am having a really bad day, I just
need to visualize and to reach out my hand to my side and act as if I am
grasping the hand of Jesus, knowing that He is walking with me side-by-side
through my troubles and depression.
May you be encouraged!
Part 2 coming soon!
No comments:
Post a Comment