The Taboos of Mental Illness- Part I

 

 I Struggle with Mental Illness, How About You?

We often tend to laugh it off or just totally not talk about it in general. But as a disciple of Christ, it is a topic that we often overlook and really need to have discussion about. So, I will address another elephant in the room- Mental Illness. In our culture we have more people than ever who struggle at some point with mental health. As Christians we tend to avoid talking about the topic. I really don’t know why? Maybe we feel mental illness is a sign of weakness, or that at some point we can just “snap” out of it. Some people think therapy is only for the crazy or that mental illness isn’t a real illness at all. Some people even think people with mental illness are dangerous. So why don’t we have open discussions about this topic in our Christian circles? Maybe it is too complicated, maybe it is the devil, or maybe the reality is, we all at some level suffer from some sort of mental health illness, and we are too proud to admit it. I do not know about you, but I struggle with mental illness and have for many years. If we were all honest with ourselves, we would all realize we all struggle with some sort of mental illness, to some degree. I tell my Psychology students on day one- of my introduction to Psychology class, that if you believe you do not struggle with or have some level of mental illness, you are fooling yourself.  Over the years I have struggled with anxiety, anger, and depression. Although I have been able to implement strategies in my life to hep me deal with these mental health issues, for his blog I am going to focus on my struggle with depression. I do not know about you, but this is one areas that I struggle with, and at times, it can get the best of me.

It seems when we want to discuss emotional/psychological disorders we always want to jump to the “demonic spirit” in an individual. There are too many people out there in the churches quick to point the finger at the devil and dismiss the chemical make-up of our bodies. However, that is so far from the truth, we have in our Christian churches and circles distorted the truth about mental illness, where it is now a taboo to even talk about. Well, I am going to start talking about it. Why? Because I believe there are too many people in our churches today that are trapped in the "mental health crisis" and they think the problem is all their fault. While I do have the control on how I respond to my depression, too often, I would blame other people for why I feel so discouraged and depressed. But the reality is, what I was struggling with was a chemical component to my body system. Some would call this a chemical imbalance. However, I found myself many times fighting myself when this is a part of who I am and my DNA makeup. I would be reactive, trying to fix me and make this imperfection go away. However, it wasn’t until I realized, I couldn’t make it go away, I really needed to give it to God. Does giving it to God excuse me, or free pass to stay depressed? No. I struggle with being depressed at times to the point where I do not even want to get out of bed in the mornings. I do not have answers for how to “heal” me from this struggle However, I had to reset my thinking, I begin each of my days by trusting the day over to the Lord and allowing Him to use me for His purposes. I regularly read the scriptures, many times the Psalms. But there are time the feelings I have inside me sometimes overwhelm me, to where I, at times, feel alone. Maybe you have experienced this at times in your life’s journey too. What did that feel like for you? If we are honest, it can feel overburdensome, as if the weight of the world is at times on our shoulders and there feels like we have no escape.

I am constantly asking myself, when I am in these really depressed cycles, Am I to blame? Is there something I did wrong? Or is it the chemical makeup of my brain and the nurturing of my past, that plays a role in my daily life?  Am I really a weak person because I struggle with depression? Where does one go for help to work through these types of struggles, like depression? For starters, do not go to the person who wants to cast out the “depression demon” from you. We give the devil way too much ground and credit for things that are not even his. Seeking help in the mental health field is a good start. For some, this is a big step. For me, it was a matter of allowing myself to submit my pride to Christ. It was a point in my life where I realized I needed to seek professional help. Depression was just the coating, as I began to work through some of my struggles, it was evident I was just hitting the tip of the iceberg when I discussed my depression. In fact, there were times when I just gave up, and stopped going for therapy. In the end, things got much worse, and I never did get to begin working through the bigger issues in my life. If you decide to seek professional counseling, I recommend seeing someone who is both clinically trained and disciple of Christ themselves.  Especially, if you are wanting to continue to grow as a disciple of Christ and remain faithful and obedient to His truths. What we do not want is someone from the secular side to tell us that what scripture says is irrelevant, ignorant, or no longer valid today. Or for them to tells us that we should try things that counter God’s word. For me, I talk to someone, a Christian therapist, who has helped me to see the triggers in my life that contribute to my depression and other emotional challenges. In fact, I regularly talk to about three other people, who I have strategically put into my life, to help me with these struggles. I have given these individuals permission to speak into my life and help walk this journey of faith and life, so In all I do, I am giving glory to God. Am I successful? Not always. In fact, I fail often. I do not want to sound too much like a humanist, but as disciples of Christ, we need to consider that we are human, living in non-glorified bodies, still under the curse of Adam’s sin, and the sinful nature of man. Although we have been regenerated and are working on sanctification with Christ, we are prone to the DNA of the fall. While that doesn’t give us an excuse, we do need to realize that we are going to have challenging days where we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. Maybe that sounds familiar to what you have experienced. What do you do in time like that?

I often think about David, and how he must have felt knowing King Saul, who was once a friend, was now out to kill him. As we read the Psalms, we can clearly see that David struggled with depression, in fact, I would go a step further to say it seems to be clear that David, if he lived today, could be diagnosed with being clinically depressed.  I also think of the disciples on the road to Emmaus Luke 24:13-35. Now we do know the identification of one of the men mentioned in the text, it is apparent that these disciples were not one of the eleven. Nevertheless, they knew Christ personally. How depressed they must have felt. Their friend, the one they had spent the last three years with, the one who walked, talked, and ate with them, was ow dead and gone. This king, Messiah who was to usher in the earthly kingdom of God. With Christ being crucified, they were probably struggling with doubt, at this point, as to whether He was the Messiah who would come and reign. Now what do they do? They had this faith, this vision, that has now collapsed before them. There is no certainty now about the future. How depressing that must make someone feel. There have been times in my life where I have experienced similar things in these two stories. How has your experience encouraged you to keep walking with the Lord?

The good news is Christ came to give me life, a new life in Him. While that does not take the depression away from me, it does give me hope that Christ is with me through my valley moments. He is walking with me through my valleys like He did with David. He walks down our road of hopelessness, like he did with the disciples on the road to Emmaus. He is there to hold me and carry me, if needed, so that I can continue my journey as a disciple of Christ. While I have not yet arrived, nor will I, until we are face to face with Christ, I can rest assured that Christ will walk each step of my life alongside me, one step at a time. Sometimes when I am having a really bad day, I just need to visualize and to reach out my hand to my side and act as if I am grasping the hand of Jesus, knowing that He is walking with me side-by-side through my troubles and depression. 

May you be encouraged!

Part 2 coming soon! 

 

 

 

The Abuses of the Cover-Up Culture in the Church

Here Are My Thoughts... For What it is Worth- Part 1

By Mike Beckett

I have spent more than 30 years involved in ministry to some level. Whether being a volunteer, or paid staff member, I have had the opportunity to see some really wonderful accomplishments made for the Lord. I have also seen and heard some things that are really disturbing in the churches I have been a part of. I am hoping to in writing this blog topic, discuss the inconsistencies within church leadership and how we as leaders of the church of Jesus Christ need to be above the part of corporate America, but also can openly discuss the hurts and pains in a way that truly brings healing in our lives. More recently, we have seen the abuses in the church, especially in the New Apostolic Reformation circles (NAR), where so-called Apostles and Prophets abuse their power over their congregants and behave in a manner that is outside of biblical structures for someone functioning in a biblical role of a prophet or apostle. People who have fallen from grace, due to cover-ups in the church, such as Robert Morris of Gateway Church, John McKinzie of Hope Fellowship Church, Tony Evans from Oak Cliff Bible Church, and Shawn Bolz from Bethel. In one of my podcast series “Making A LeaderSHIFT” (6-episodes available at the dead prophet - YouTube)  where John Symanski came on the show and we talked about what pastors are really experiencing in the churches they serve, we realized that this issue of Leadership is a systemic problem. He shared a story about an associate pastor who was going to leave ministry all together due to the behaviors of the senior pastor he was under. When associate pastors are forced to work under senior pastors who are out of control, show no Christlikeness in their behavior, and have for far too long been able to say and do what they want, leaning more towards narcissistic behaviors, we have got a problem.

In our churches today there is an issue with integrity in leadership, and it goes far beyond just sexual abuse. I remember one of the first churches I was in, as a volunteer, and the pastor went on a rampage about sound and began in a rage, unplugging all of the sound equipment, and yelling at me telling me the "sound was too loud".  I remember that I had brought a team of Bible college students with me that week, in hopes to help secure a solid worship team. Afterwards, I remember those other students, said, we will never come back here again, and you should leave, this pastor is unstable.  Many years later, that pastor was found out that he struggled with pornography and left his wife for another woman. I know I am not alone. There are several people in ministry, serving under tyrants who for far too long have been able to get away with erratic behavior and not been held accountable to a higher standard. It is usually those who feel they build the church from nothing to what it is today. They remove the fact that Christ is at work in His church and assume that without them, that “their” church cannot survive. In approaching ministry this way, they oppress those who are underneath them, become over critical of their staff, and act as if they are the only one who has the say. I am reminded of what Proverbs 10:9 says, “He who walks in integrity walks securely. But he who makes his ways crooked, will be found out.” For those leaders who walk in integrity, who really live out what they believe, exist without fear of some evil being discovered.

You see men’s integrity will be their security. He that walks uprightly towards God and man, that is faithful to both means as he says, walks surely; he is then safe under divine protection. That person goes on his way with a humble boldness, being well armed against the temptations of Satan, the troubles of the world and the reproaches of men. However, men’s dishonestly will be their shame. He that perverts his way, that dissembles with God and man, though he may for a time pass current, shall be known to be what he is.

Let me say this, and say it without reservation, when pastor’s do not act with the humility of Christ and tend to be abusive towards others, they are in ministry with, this is NOT alright! There are too many people in ministry who are suffering in silence due to what corporate America would call verbal harassment and verbal abuse. It is not alright to suffer in silence. The sad part of all of this, is those who are damaged, not only leave eh ministry, but many times will leave the faith altogether.  1 Timothy is very clear when it says that “an overseer, then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine, or pugnacious, but considerate, peaceable, free from the love on money, leading his own household well, having his children in submission with all dignity.”

While there is a lot to unpack, I want to focus on a few things here. The word must here is the use of the Greek particle that stresses emphatically that living a blameless life is absolutely necessary for church leaders. The phrase “above reproach” literally means “not able to be held” in a criminal sense. There is no valid accusation of wrongdoing that can be made against him. No overt, flagrant sin can mar the life of one who must be an example for his people to follow. Leasers are to be blameless. Titus 1:7 even goes on to say, “not self-willed, not quick tempered… not found of dishonest gain.” The stories I have heard of friends in ministry, where this is not the case of the senior pastor they serve under not only grieves me, but I would for certain not only grieves but angers the Lord.

The problem with our churches today, is we function as a business. We look for better ways to grow our churches numerically, and not spiritually. We compare our church with the other churches down the street. We overlook the spiritual growth of true discipleship, and push our vision, mission, and programs, while letting our spiritual guard down for the enemy of our soul to come in and create disorder. However, those who are in situations that are unhealthy, do need to speak up. You do need to get someone who will advocate for you, even if that means getting connected with an employment lawyer. Too often, we just dismiss the abuses in the church as “God will handle it” or “God will work it out.” The reality is if these types of abuses and situations were going on at a secular job, these leaders would be put on improvement plans or fired. So why, do we excuse the behaviors of leadership, who do not line up with the scriptural qualifications of an overseer? Please don’t read into this ideal that everyone needs to be perfect. For we “all sin and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23. However, for those in leadership in the church Paul is very clear of the leadership requirements to be a pastor, leader, overseer. If those we work with are falling short way too often, that behavior needs to be addressed, and it needs to be addressed immediately. Chances are if you are experiencing those erratic behaviors from those leaders, you work under in the church, you are most likely not alone, and there is a lengthy trail, whether covered up or not. It is time the church starts to weed out the garden. We have got to have leadership that is “above reproach” leadership that is focused on spiritual growth over numerical growth, leadership who will begin to act like Christ and not let their emotional insecurities run ramped like a disease infecting those they work with.

As we continue with my thoughts on the sad excuse of leadership that tends to be leading our churches today, I will draw more on some of my own experiences but will also pull from some of the stories shared from the “Making A LeaderSHIFT” series with John Symanski and some stories told to me over the years.  My hope in this blog series is that it will help others to rise above the "status quo" of sweeping church abuse on all levels underneath the carpet and actually seeing the true healing and restoration of God at work in the lives of our church leaders. 

Part 2 upcoming soon! 

If you would like to share your story of recent church abuse, please reach out to Mike directly at thedeadprophet75@gmail.com.